Research has shown that if an infant does not receive attention and love from primary caregivers, then he will have a weak attachment, which can damage trust. It may prevent him from ever getting close to others and set a trajectory of loneliness and conflict for the rest of his life. You may be able to put an entire narrative together for the person who hurt you—from early child through adulthood—or just imagine it from what you know.
You may be able to see her physical frailties and psychological suffering, and begin to understand the common humanity that you share. You may recognize her as a vulnerable person who was wounded and wounded you in return. Despite what she may have done to hurt you, you realize that she did not deserve to suffer, either. When we suffer a great deal, it is important that we find meaning in what we have endured.
Without seeing meaning, a person can lose a sense of purpose, which can lead to hopelessness and a despairing conclusion that there is no meaning to life itself. Instead, we try to see how our suffering has changed us in a positive way. They may also realize that their suffering has altered their perspective regarding what is important in life, changing their long-range goals for themselves.
You must always take care to address the woundedness in yourself and to recognize the injustice of the experience, or forgiveness will be shallow. Still, there are many ways to find meaning in our suffering. Some may choose to focus more on the beauty of the world or decide to give service to others in need. Some may find meaning by speaking their truth or by strengthening their inner resolve.
If I were to give one answer, it would be that we should use our suffering to become more loving and to pass that love onto others. Finding meaning, in and of itself, is helpful for finding direction in forgiveness. Forgiveness is always hard when we are dealing with deep injustices from others. I have known people who refuse to use the word forgiveness because it just makes them so angry.
But if you want to forgive and are finding it hard, it might help to call upon other resources. Forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience, and determination. Try not to be harsh on yourself, but be gentle and foster a sense of quiet within, an inner acceptance of yourself.
Try to respond to yourself as you would to someone whom you love deeply. Forgiveness releases us from the hold of hurt, disappointment, and discouragement. Understanding the importance of forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the offense. With Jesus as our life partner, the Holy Spirit leads us to grace and mercy.
It is hard to walk in unforgiveness and show love and mercy at the same time. If we are to live in peace , we must study and practice forgiveness. To live whole and pursue our purpose in life the Bible says we must forgive. It is soul care that is non-negotiable and vital for our growth personally and in healthy relationships. Be encouraged , those who live a forgiving life are free and content! Try seventy times seven. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Philippians MSG. How to forgive others will always be part of our story.
What about you? Have you experienced the importance of forgiveness in your life? Would love to hear how you have learned the importance of forgiveness and the impact it has had on your relationships!
Beautiful and much needed post! Forgiveness is so important in our walk with Christ. After my divorce, it took awhile but eventually I learned to not only forgive him but also forgive myself. What a great post. Forgiveness is so so hard but as I get older, I find it much easier when I realize how imperfect I am and how I need forgiveness. So toxic! Forgiveness is more for me than anything else. Remembering that God forgives me, can nudge me to forgive others.
Outstanding article on forgiveness, Mary! So often we think we get to choose whether to forgive or not, but God means for us to forgive every time.
Especially in relationships this is a core value for healthy relationships. Thank you for sharing your encounter with the lost suitcase! It was the perfect example of extending forgiveness, and a good lesson for me! Thank you! I am grateful God continues to help me become better at forgiveness. This is a beautiful message on forgiveness- well written and backed by scripture. Thanks — I will share this source with many others. Pingback: What Makes a Good Friend? Pingback: What is Spiritual Fatigue?
And 5 Mighty Ways to Overcome It! A beautiful post and just what I needed to read. I am at the threshold of another situation in which I need to move towards forgiving someone. I know it is the right thing to do and yet I get hung up on the offense and delay moving forward. I know through prayer, I will get there and my faith will improve as well as the relationship. It is just difficult or I should say I make it difficult. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and ask for forgiveness — without making excuses.
Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.
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The disorder usually develops after an emotional or physical trauma, such as a mugging, physical abuse or a natural disaster.
Symptoms include nightmares, insomnia, angry outbursts, emotional numbness, and physical and emotional tension. Health Home Wellness and Prevention. Reflect and remember. Empathize with the other person.
Forgive deeply. Let go of expectations.
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