Still, Mr. Neuman found that most men don't find their mistresses much more physically attractive than their wives, but do feel more loved in their company. This and the book's subtitle - Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It - have drawn the ire of critics who say the author is blaming wives for their husbands' indiscretions.
We reached Mr. Neuman in the Catskills Mountains, N. What surprised you most about cheaters? It was phenomenal to learn that the men who cheated actually saw themselves as very emotional beings.
Women have to understand that men are far more insecure and impressionable than they let on. Men very much want to please their wives. Appreciating [husbands]is not going to give them a free ride - it's quite the opposite.
Men keep telling me that when they felt they could win at home, when they felt that their wives were admiring or appreciative, that motivated them. You keep reiterating that cheating is not about sex. Only 8 per cent of the men said that sexual dissatisfaction at home was a primary contributor. The No.
And that fit with another amazing statistic: 88 per cent of the men said the mistress was no better-looking or was not in better shape than their own wives. It's not about sex. It's much more about a lack of thoughtful gestures at home. What kind of gestures are you talking about? They were verbal first of all: "I like that.
The most common things missing are, "Great dad, great career person, makes money for the family. That's unfair, for men and women. Falling for the wrong person happens to all of us. It happens to single women dating single men. It happens to women who fall in love with married men. It happens to the wife of a husband who is having an affair. It happens to same-sex couples as well.
The point is, most likely the mistress already knows she has made a huge mistake and only stays in the affair because she thinks her lover wants to be with her.
Of course, some women may not be that emotionally attached to their lovers, but I would guess that most are -- especially in long-term affairs that carry on for years. Mistresses are just like any other woman in the world. They don't necessarily need to be vilified. How many women fall for a man and believe most of what he says? We've all done it at some point or another.
If a woman knows her lover is married or found out at some point after she already fell for him, then there is no doubt she has been sweet-talked and promised to hundreds of times.
It's fairly common for a cheating husband to tell his mistress that he is miserable in his marriage and wants to get out. This may or may not be true, but whether or not he does get out of the marriage is another thing.
If there are children involved or if the husband does truly want to be with his wife, then he won't make the steps to leave the marriage. A mistress has already placed herself in a vulnerable position, so if she is in love with the man she is having the affair with, she will make excuses for him, and probably suffers from deep denial. It may take months or even years for a mistress to realize that a man is not going to leave his wife for her.
If he was, he would have done it sooner than later. Hanging on to an affair in hopes that a man will leave his wife is something many mistresses do, and if there are years that pass by, she becomes more invested in the relationship, and also more comfortable within the lie. The affair becomes her normal. The secrecy becomes her normal, and in many cases, she will self-medicate or behave destructively to alleviate the guilt and shame.
Being the mistress is not glamorous. An affair may start out as a thrilling, romantic whirlwind, but it almost always ends up a depressing, disheartening situation. News U. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. A new survey has revealed just what cheating men are looking for in a potential mistress stock image.
While a more curvaceous woman gets the tick from cheaters, she also has to be a woman who 'takes care of her appearance'. Nearly 30 per cent of men admitted they'd prefer their mistress to keep fit and a similar number also said their preference was for women who were 'elegant and stylish'. Long hair has increased in importance too, as well as 'beautiful eyes', taller ladies and 'petite' women.
While the survey revealed that 70 per cent of unfaithful men agreed that physical appearance outweighed personality, personal attributes are also considered important. This can be a way to cope with guilty feelings. Topping this list was a sense of humour with Kindness was also considered an important attribute and more than 50 per cent said they considered an adventurous spirit important.
The questionnaire revealed that 70 per cent of unfaithful men said physical appearance outweighed personality stock image. Intelligence was only considered important by a third of respondents, and an 'impulsive woman' rated just Source: Victoria Milan. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
Argos AO. Privacy Policy Feedback. From curves and long hair to 'beautiful' eyes: Cheating husbands reveal what they look for in a mistress - as experts list the key signs of infidelity New survey details what men are looking for in a mistress when they're straying Respondents reveal there's been a break away from the slimmer-figured woman The questionnaire canvased men in 22 countries including Australia and NZ By Emilia Mazza For Daily Mail Australia Published: GMT, 27 August Updated: GMT, 27 August e-mail 16 shares.
Share this article Share. Men reveal just what the perfect mistress looks like: Long hair -
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